I am one of those “strong” friends. The strong brother, co-worker, partner and teammate. This might mean different things to different people, but the core of it is sacrificing your emotional outlet for the sake of others.
It’s the kind of selflessness that probably does more harm than good. The good is that you’re always there for people. Your emotional and mental toughness serves as an outlet for those that are in need of strength and encouragement.
The bad is that you never want to seem weak in front of those that look to you for strength. Not only are you carrying the weight of other people’s burden’s, but you’re dealing with your own in silence.
You’re co-workers come to you when there’s a problem because you’re the fixer. Now you don’t know who else is capable of fixing, so you remain broken. This cycle continues until you’re burnt out and on the brake of irreparable damage to your psyche.
even the worlds greatest surgeon can not operate on themselves.
if you’re a helper, please make sure to find someone that can help you too.
— Oluseun K. Arowolaju (@kidseun) December 13, 2017
I have a message for these particular people: keep on helping, healing and fixing. Just keep in mind, the helper needs a helper; the healer needs a healer, and the fixer needs a fixer. It helps when you can find all of that in one being, and the one being exists.
That being is The Most High, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. The only reason I’m able to help, heal and fix without burning out is that when I need these very things, I turn to God. I’ve come to realize that I’m a vessel, to intercede on the behalf of others and give them what God’s given me.
Though it’s better to get it straight from the source, the reality is that we at times need more relatable beings to express our frustration and problems too. It might seem like we’re ungrateful if we complain to God but in reality, God wants to hear it.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
~ Phillipans 4:6-7
More importantly, don’t heal, help or fix if your purpose in doing so is to have that reciprocated by those you’re healing, helping and fixing. Do it from the kindness of your heart with joy in your spirit. Doing because you’ve been given that gift and you want to use it to serve.
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
~ Phillipians 4:11-13
Remember you can do ALL things. So when you’re in solitude and you ask yourself, “Who’s going to help me?”, know that there is an answer to that question. Your strength comes from the greatest source of strength imaginable. One that endureth forever.
I’m guilty of asking myself these questions, wondering if the good I do is ever notice if the people I help know that I too may need help. But then I remember because God is helping me is the only reason I’m able to help others.
If was helpless, I wouldn’t be so helpful. Keep doing the good work and your help will always come from above.