my momma told me that communication is the key to intimacy https://t.co/BvAIB4yoDC
— Oluseun K. Arowolaju (@kidseun) January 23, 2017
What is intimacy? It’s close familiarity or close friendship. To me, intimacy is at the root of any successful relationship, whether it’s platonic or romantic, business or professional.
Communication is what brings forth this intimacy. Communication, however, is this black hole in which things get misinterpreted, misconstrued, or misheard.
I consider myself a good communicator, but I find myself listening to respond instead of listening to understand. The good things are that I’m listening, but how I’m processing the information is another step forward in having optimal communication skills.
having good communication skills include listening to opposing viewpoints
— Oluseun K. Arowolaju (@kidseun) October 10, 2018
We hate when people disagree with us. Confirmation bias runs rampant in our ideologies to the point where selective hearing forces us to ignore things that don’t confirm our bias and strengthen our arguments with correlating points from the opposition.
As you probably know, there’s no way to build intimacy when you’re combative. If you really want to get to the root of things, intimacy is the way to go. Whether you disagree with a view or not, getting close and actually understanding will not only expose your perspective to new thought but actually give you something to counter in the event that you want to rebut.
The downfall to any relationship, whether it’s a business relationship or a personal relationship is a lack of communication. Understanding each other is important, but if you don’t even strive to create discourse.
Next time you’re looking to understand an opposing viewpoint, focus on intimacy. The closer you get, the more you’ll understand.