I’ve been feeling like I’m on an Ultralight Beam lately. It’s hard to explain, but this song does it well. I’m trying to keep my faith, but I’m looking for more. Somewhere that I can feel safe, and end my Holy War.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a few minutes and listen:
If you know me, you know that I am very spiritually in-tune. Outside of coming from a Christian family, I’ve taken my own venture into spirituality. I used to be extremely defiant, and hated going to church. A rebel if you would. You’d literally have to drag me to church. I thought it was all fake, especially the people. I didn’t see any transparency or confession of transgressions, just people acting “Holier than Thou”.
I am far from being the model “Christian”, and I used that term very lightly. However, I do strive to be Christ-like. To be gentle, kind, patient, loving and humble. To teach people, to heal people, and to protect people. I see myself as trying to follow-into the footsteps of the most perfect man to ever walk the Earth, rather than following the footsteps of our imperfect leaders.
Last week something incredible happened. I was walking to get some food and a homeless person approached me. He had one shoe on, and the on the other foot was a cast. He looked defeated, but hopeful.
He walked up to me saying he knew me from somewhere. That he felt spiritually connected to me somehow. Mind you, I’m not even from San Francisco. I would’ve easily thought this to be a play for him to ask me for money, but it wasn’t. He needed more than money.
We began talking and I learned of his story and how he ended up homeless. His struggles with addiction and the pain of losing his family, and not being able to see his daughter. I listened, intently and gave him my undivided attention. I caught the glimpse of onlookers thinking that we both were crazy. Him for rambling on, and me for listening.
After about 10 minutes of talking, he told me that he always wanted to be baptized. That he believed his suffering was for a reason and we all go through it in one way or another. I offered to pray for him.
There we was, on Market Street, on the sidewalk, praying. I didn’t care about his appearance, or is tattered clothes, but his soul. I held his swollen hands, and prayed. He listened, responding with Amens and really soaking it up. He told me if I ever needed anything, or help with anything that he’d be there. I felt like I was the one that should be offering help to HIM, but it was touching.
He thanked me and told me, “You just gave me strength”. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again, and I hope I do, but I made an investment into his life. It wasn’t a financial one, but I sew a seed that I hope grows and take his suffering away.
That moment taught me that all we need on this earth, as it’s inhabitants, is to support each other. Some may not have a physical home here on Earth, but our soul will always have a spiritual home.